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Autonomous vehicles will be moving brothels in no time, researchers predict

SHOWCASING HUMANITY’S UNIQUE ability to hijack any new technology for getting ends away, researchers from the University of Surrey and Oxford reckon that driverless cars will become mobile brothels in no time.

In terrible news for sex workers that suffer from motion sickness, the study suggests that driverless cars will become an alternative to ‘pay-per-hour’ hotel rooms for paid porking.  

“While SCAVs [shared, connected autonomous vehicles] will likely be monitored to deter passengers having sex or using drugs in them, and to prevent violence, such surveillance may be rapidly overcome, disabled or removed,” the paper from the Annals of Tourism Research reads.  

“Moreover, personal CAVs will likely be immune from such surveillance. Such private CAVs may also be put to commercial use, as it is just a small leap to imagine Amsterdam’s Red Light District ‘on the move’.”

It’s not just about bumping uglies, though: the paper – ‘Autonomous vehicles and the future of urban tourism‘ – covers other scenarios for tourists unperturbed by the sticky seats. The coach trip, for example, could go extinct as visitors opt for a private driverless car for their sightseeing instead.

Hotels and airlines could also be hit, the paper speculates, as visitors choose to sleep in their cars, either driving around aimlessly until their alarm goes off, or sleeping through the downtime a flight would normally have reduced.

All of this means that the somewhat utopian ideal that driverless cars would cut down on congestion and pollution could be for nought if humans abuse that convenience.

“CAV use in urban tourism may, therefore, prove an exception to expectations that CAVs will lead to reduced congestion and better traffic flows,” the paper warns.  

Stuck in a traffic jam between sleeping cheapskates, tourists, and copulating couples. Doesn’t the future sound marvelous? µ

Further reading

Source : Inquirer

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