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Pornhub traffic took a beating during iPhone XS and Apple Watch reveals

IF YOU WERE IRKED that your busy masturbating schedule was interrupted by the iPhone XS launch, then you’re not alone. Mucky-film merchant Pornhub has published some analysis of the beating its traffic took as Tim Cook and company revealed the latest and greatest from Cupertino.

In fact, Pornhub’s data scientists (actual scientists, not the kind who dress in lab coats before stripping off for an implausible roll in the labs) have been able to figure out exactly which parts of the Apple event grabbed porn aficionados’ attention.

Those ogling Pornhub via iOS were more likely to be distracted from the task in hand than their Android counterparts. But it’s the detail of the analysis that makes porn fans a surprisingly helpful focus group for experienced Google Analytics wranglers.

The iPhone reveal saw Pornhub traffic drop a staggering 11.3 per cent on Apple devices and 4.4 per cent on Android. The Apple Watch Series 4 was also briefly popular (down 9.9 per cent and 3.7 per cent) before talk moved onto the health benefits, at which point viewers were inspired to have a brief 20-minute workout back on Pornhub.

Environmentalism also turned out to be a global turn-off, with users flocking to Pornhub in droves as Apple talked about its green dogoodery. But as soon as it returned to mining the planet’s finite resourced, traffic bounced right back. The shiny new iPhone XR was just the draw, resulting in a whopping 11.5 per cent dip in Pornhub’s iOS traffic, with 2.7 per cent  of Android users reluctantly following suit.

Could Apple do anything to capture the attention of iPhone refuseniks? Surprisingly yes: the announcement of Dual SIM support seemed to distract some (incredibly dull) Android users briefly. Read into that what you will.

As the presentation ended, Pornhub traffic returned to normal levels again, as tech fans mulled over whether or not to pre-order the shiny new devices with an accompanying smutty flick. µ

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Source : Inquirer

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Founder and Editor-in-Chief of 'Professional Hackers India'. Technology Evangelist, Security Analyst, Cyber Security Expert, PHP Developer and Part time hacker.

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