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Church of England to start accepting contactless payments

Beep! Bless you my child…

THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND has announced plans to roll out contactless payments to 16,000 of its places of worship in an attempt to modernise.

The idea is to appeal to the younger generation who may worship Monzo rather than cash.

After trailing the scheme in 40 branches churches last summer, the scheme will now roll out nationwide over the coming year, allowing digital happy parishioners to pay for weddings, christenings, funerals, church fetes and such without the Rev having to hide a wadge of fivers in his cassock.

Reverend Margaret Cave, from Christchurch in East Greenwich told Auntie Beeb: “It makes us feel like we’re part of the 21st century, and we can take payments in a safe and secure way. As a vicar, I also know we don’t have cash floating around.”

Cash? Floating around? Must be the holy ghost.

What you won’t see, at least for now, is a contactless terminal being passed around instead of a collection plate, though ideas are being thrown around for how it could work.

One thing that might help is the advent (no, not that one) of 5G, which will decrease the latency of the transaction. But that won’t solve the issue of having to type in how much you want to give, let alone scrabbling around in your bag for your phone, as you’ll definitely not have been using it to play Candy Crush instead of listening to the sermon.

It’s just another example of how religion and technology are starting to come together. We’ve already brought you news of how Pepper has been programmed to conduct Buddhist funerals and the terrifying aberration that is Bless-U-2.

This type of contactless prayment could be just the beginning for the Church as it looks to blend in seamlessly with the modern world.

The Anglican church has always been ahead of the pack when it comes to modernisation, usually because it hears the communion whine. µ  

Source : Inquirer

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